A Short Letter

I had a joyful feeling inside of me, a feeling of freedom and liberty. My girlfriend had left for 4 days to New York because apparently she had a meeting with her agent about her new book. I didn't even kiss her goodbye. I had four days to live again. My girlfriend and I had become just like an old married couple. We were only thirty, but our friends had forgotten about us, we never went out and the sex was terrible. The vegan food had striped another layer of color in my life. This break would be the best thing that had happened to me since our first week as a couple. Just like any other 30-year-old single man, I went out. I wasn't expecting to end my night at a 25-year-old college student’s bedroom, but that is exactly what happened. The last time I had slept with my girlfriend was six months ago. Of course I felt a sense of guilt in me, but the next day the same thing happened with a different girl. It felt wrong yet I still slept with a different, younger girl each of those four valuable nights. The morning after was always the same: I would write them a short letter on a post-it about me having committed a big mistake and how she wasn't the one.  I left it on their bedside table before they would wake up. It was cold and empty, but honestly I never cared about them. I hadn't called my girlfriend since she had left, I guess it was a vacation for both of us. 

Three hours were at my disposal. My free time was running out and I began to question whether or not I should come clean about my sexual encounters. The only way I could truly express my feelings was by writing a letter, just as I had done with those clueless girls. Writing a letter was truly challenging, but unlike the other ones I couldn't find the words to reveal what I sincerely wanted to say. 

It’s at that moment moment when I realized how idiotic my mistake had been and sitting there on my kitchen table with no one by my side made me realize: my girlfriend was everything to me. So many memories came back; whether it was us laughing at each other or simply sitting on the couch watching a movie, I truly missed her. The letter was long and deep, filled with memories and regrets. A vague smile would occasionally come across my face, but so would tears drop on that sacred paper. I thought about tearing it up and throwing it away, but I had unleashed too many emotions. It took me roughly an hour to write my letter. Only love could describe how I was feeling; it was different than what I had experienced with those pointless girls. I had put so much effort into my letter, it meant too much to me. I knew she had to be the one. I had finally realized the intensity of my mistake. With simply two hours left I went downtown,  entered the jewelry shop and bought her the perfect wedding ring. To make it even more perfect I made a romantic, calm dinner with candles and rich food which I had cooked myself. 

I waited with a flower in my mouth kneeling on one knee, but my knees were becoming weak as I attempted to remain still. She was supposed to have arrived already. Then I waited on the chair at the table, I was just wishing the tofu wouldn't get too cold. She was supposed to be here an hour ago, and my hunger was increasing. I took two little bites hoping she wouldn't notice. The letter was still sitting on her plate and the ring was safely hidden in my pocket. This began to worry me, so I called her and no one answered. I thought that maybe the flight was delayed. It wasn’t. I had lost hope for that perfect night of true love. I fell asleep on the chair wishing that I would wake up next to my future wife in bed. That was not the case. I was startled by a strong knock on the door, which woke me up with such intensity. The candles were still lit, but it felt really late, I was simply happy that everything would go back to the way it was. I swung open the door to find no one there, but some kind of folded paper on my door mat. I had discovered a letter that come all the way from New York. It was a short, empty letter; she simply wrote that she had committed a big mistake and how I wasn't the one.

Sorren, Martha. "Bustle." Bustle. Buslte, 22 July 2014. Web. 23 Jan. 2015. <http://www.bustle.com/articles/32671-what-did-the-letter-to-andi-on-bachelorette-men-tell-all-say-6-theories-on-what>.